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This is the book written by female British author “E. James” that became a huge bestseller, devoured by pretty much every woman on Earth except my wife (or so she claims).I think I might be the only man who read this book. The book is over five hundred pages long and the whole thing is written like that.I did it sneakily, hiding the cover, especially when I was on an airplane, which actually is a good place to read this book because you have access to a barf bag. If Jane Austen (another bestselling female British author) came back to life and read this book, she would kill herself. I read it because, as a man with decades of experience in the field of not knowing what the hell women are thinking, I was hoping this book would give me some answers. And they didn’t just read it; they responded to it by developing erotic feelings—feelings so powerful that in some cases .I say this because of the writing style, which is . I know that sounds like crazy talk, but I have firsthand confirmation of this phenomenon from my friend Ron, who is married to my wife’s cousin Sonia, a woman.Ron states: “While Sonia was reading the book, I was getting more action than Wilt Chamberlain.” Another friend of mine whose name I will keep confidential out of respect for his privacy told me, “I’d be lying on the bed watching ?
What women want, to judge from , is not just people doing It.
Many pages go by in this book without any of It getting done, although there is a great deal of thinking and talking about It.
The thoughts are provided by the narrator and main character, Anastasia Steele, who is a twenty-one-year-old American woman as well as such a clueless, self-absorbed ninny that you, the reader, find yourself wishing that you still smoked so you would have a cigarette lighter handy and thus could set fire to certain pages, especially the ones where Anastasia is telling you about her “inner goddess.” This is a hyperactive imaginary being—I keep picturing Tinker Bell—who reacts in a variety of ways to the many dramatic developments in Anastasia’s life, as we see in these actual quotes: That’s right: Her inner goddess, in addition to dancing, cheerleading, pole vaulting, etc., apparently keeps furniture inside Anastasia’s head.
Unfortunately, this means there is little room left for Anastasia’s brain, which, to judge from her thought process, is about the size of a walnut. What it tells us is this: Women are interested in sex.
On the other hand, Anastasia is physically very attractive, although she never seems to figure this out despite the fact that all the other characters keep telling her, over and over, how darned attractive she is. Lest we forget this crucial fact, Anastasia remarks on Christian’s handsomeness at least once every two pages. There are two more books in this series, titled “Fifty Shades Darker” and “The Third Fifty Shades Book That Was Required to Make It a Trilogy.” I assume these books bring these two lovebirds back together, as well as revealing the Dark Secret in Christian’s past. This may be obvious to women, but, trust me, it is not obvious to men.